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All Time Top Quotes:
can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge
to conquer Poland.
-Manhattan Murder Mystery
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the
world he didn't exist.
-The Usual Suspects
All human beings are becoming humanoids.
All over the world, not just in America.
We're just getting there faster
since we're the most advanced country.
Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!
My life is passing in front of my
eyes. The worst part is I'm driving a used car.
-Manhattan Murder Mystery
The issue isn't whether you're paranoid,
It's whether you're paranoid enough.
We're on a mission from God
-The Blues Brothers
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the
Statue of Liberty
-Crimes and Misdemeanors
Fate sucks. I swear.
The chip. The British contribution to world cuisine.
-A Fish Called Wanda
If Jesus Christ came back today and saw what was being done
in his name, he'd never
stop throwing up.
-Hannah and Her Sisters
Hannibal Lecter: How did you catch me, Will?
Will: You had disadvantages.
Hannibal Lecter: What disadvantages?
WIll: You're insane.
My name is Nick.
My father thought of it shaving
In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
As far as I know, and what I don't
ain't worth knowing.
Like I've always said,
If you don't have anything
nice to say,
come sit by me.
You use sex to express every emotion except love
-Husbands and Wives
(Holding up a picture of a simple circle):
You know, for kids!
-The Hudsucker Proxy
But she was so sweet and we just walked in the park and I
was so touched by her that,
after fifteen minutes, I wanted to marry her and, after half
an hour, I completely gave
up the idea of snatching her purse.
-Take The Money and Run
"Crash" Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the
pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball,
high fibre, good Scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag
are self-indulgent overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey
Oswald acted alone, I believe there ought to be a
constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturft and the
designated hitter, I believe in the sweet spot, soft core
pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning
rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long slow
deep soft wet kisses that last three days. Good night.
Annie: Oh my.
You don't wanna get laid, man.
It leads to kissing and pretty soon you gotta talk to 'em.
Linda Emery: A philosophy major? Now, what can
you do with a philosophy major?
Bruce Lee: You can think deep thoughts about
-Dragon, the Bruce Lee Story
"Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of
a dead mans balls." I have no idea what that means, but
it seems very negative to me.
-Good Morning Vietnam
Kent: You're all a bunch of degenerates!
Chris Knight: Oh, really? Well, what about that time I
found you naked with that bowl of jello?
Kent: You did not!
Chris Knight: This is true.
Kent: Yeah, well I was hot and I was hungry!
Spider: It's too bad we had to kill her. I really liked the
outfit she had on.
-Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
Harriet Michaels: What do you look for in a girl on
Charlie Mackenzie: I know everyone always says a
sense of humour, but I really have to go with
-So I Married an Axe Murderer
Venkman: I'm a little hazy on this good/bad stuff. What exactly
Igon: Imagine life as you know it stopping instantaneously
and all the
molecules in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Venkman:That would be bad.
You're acting like a thing from another tax bracket!
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Airline stewardess:Would you like something to drink?
Clark Grizwald: Yeah, I'd like a Coke.
Airline stewardess:Would you like that in the Can
Clark Grizwald:(looks down the aisle toward bathroom) No I'll
it right here, thanks.
(counting the number of people he has to kill
from a long-distance)
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7...huh! Oswald was a fag."
-The Usual Suspects
Yes, it's true, this man has no dick.
Nice piano interlude-
"That's a very beautiful piece, what do you call it?"
"Oh that's a little something I've been fooling around
with, I call it,
"Lick my love pump" - Nigel Tufnell
-This Is Spinal Tap
I love the smell of napalm in the morning
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love
"What shall we hang, the holly or each other?"
-The Lion in WInter
apologize, it's a sign of weakness."
Spoken by the John Wayne character, Captain Nathan Brittles,
Ford's "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon.
Sgt. addressing the troops warning his men to speak cleanly
as women will
be joining the wagon train.
"Watch them words, men!"
And from the rear of the assembled troop is heard, "Watch
once said: Life is pretty stupid, with lot's of hubbub to
keep you busy, but really not amounting to much...I'm paraphrasing
course." --L.A. Story
tough looking dude: is that supposed to be funny?
joker: well, they call me the joker.
big tough dude: well i got a joke for you. i'm gonna tear
you a new
-Full Metal Jacket
"The one physical model of the universe, the shortest
between two points is a straight line, in the opposite direction."
- Army of Darkness -
Ash: "You're good Ash, and I'm bad Ash. You're a goody
shoes, goody little two shoes, goody little two shoes--"
Ash: "Good. Bad. I'm the one with the gun."
"bulimia is so '87, Heather."
not! Do, or do not! There is no try!
Empire Strikes Back
the American Public doesn't know, is exactly what makes them
the American Public" - Dan Akroyd in _Tommy Boy_
Roy: "All those memories, lost--likes tears in rain.
Time to die."
"My cock is a hell of a lot cleaner than your bum!"
Kirby: I always thought we'd be friends forever.
Keven: Yeah, well, forever got a lot shorter suddenly, didn't
- St. Elmo's Fire
moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once
awhile, you might miss it."
-Ferris Beuller's Day Off
. . . here's to the pencil pushers. May they all die of lead
(Who Framed Roger Rabbit)
man can never be friends with a woman he finds attractive,
always wants to have sex with her."
Sally:"That's not true! I have a number of men friends
and there is no
Harry:"No, you don't"
Sally:"Yes, I do."
Harry:"No, you don't"
Sally:"You're saying I'm having sex with these men without
Harry:"No, I'm saying they all want to have sex with
Sally:"Well, what if they don't want to have sex with
Harry:"It doesn't matter because the sex part is already
out there, so
the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of
Sally:"So a man can be friends with a woman he finds
Harry:"No, you pretty much want to nail them, too"
-When Harry Met Sally
Knight: I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who
"I drank what?"
-- Real Genuis
"I've taught myself how to cook, sew, fix plumbing and
myself a pat on the back when necessary. The only things I
anyone is love and respect and anyone who can't give me that
place in my life"
"You're throwing me out!?!?"
-- Torch Song Trilogy
isn't personal Kay, it's business." The Godfather
I'm not back in five minutes, wait longer." --Ace
Ventura, Pet Detective
you tell on someone, you're not only telling on
them. You're telling on yourself." --Brady Bunch
"i know what you're thinking, did he fire six shots or
to tell the truth in all this confusion i forgot myself
now being that this is a .44 magnum the most powerful handgun
the world and can take your head clean off, you have to ask
a question, do i feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?
Wanna-be Gunslinger to Clint Eastwood's character:
"You don't look no meaner 'n hell cold blooded killer..."
"Yeah, well, I ain't like that no more."
"Are you gonna do something, or are you just gonna stand
there and bleed?"
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
lamps, there would be no light.
--The Breakfast Club
"Are you talking to ME?" - Taxi Driver
You might know who we are, but we know who you are. Understand.
"You know Keaton says he doesn't believe in God but he
fears him. Well I
believe in God, but the only thing i fear is Keyser Sosay!"
-Verbal Kent in "Usual Suspects"
"You gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna
-Mr. Blonde "Reservoir Dogs"
"I don't give a good fuck what you know or don't know,
but I'm going to
torture you anyway. Not to get information, because it's amusing
to torcher a cop. You can say anything you want 'cause I've
heard it all
-Mr. Blond "Reservoir Dogs"
"I'll rip the eyes out of your head and piss in your
dead skull!!! You
fucked with the wrong Marine!!!"
-Col. Nathan Jessup (Jack Nicholson) "A Few Good
"Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the
first otherwise we'll stop this conversation right hear."
-Groucho Marx "Animal Crackers"
Richard: "Tommy, back from college in just under a decade."
Tommy: "Hey, a lot of people go to college for seven
Richard: "Yeah, they're called doctors."
Billy Madison: Hey Miss Vaughn- Wannt some of this millk?
Veronica Vaughn: Billy, this milk belongs to that room.
Billy: Oh, nobody has to know about it. This could be our
Miss Vaughn: Billy, no milk will ever be our milk.
Billy (to custodian): Hey sideburns, want some of this milk?
Custodian: I'd rather have a beer
Oh, Veronica Vaughn. Soooo hot. Want to touch the heiney.
You got to have two things to win. You got to have brains
and you got to
have balls. Now you've
got too much of one and not enough of the other.
The Color of Money
Will you just watch the hair? You know, I work on my hair
a long time
and you hit it. He hits my
Saturday Night Fever
What's your name, Levine? You call yourself a salesman, you
son of a
-- Glengarry Glen Ross
Senator, my offer is this: nothing.Not even the price of the
license, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally.
-- The Godfather
We are no longer the knights who say "neep." We
are now the nights who
-- Holy Grail
-- Three Amigos
I like to consider myself an educated man, but I'm afraid
I can't speak
intelligently on the travel habits of William Santiago.
--Few Good men
Are you Markinson? same movie
It was a glorious time. Wiseguys were everywhere. It was before
Appalachia, and before Crazy Joe decided to take on a boss
and start a
war. It was when I met the world. It was when I first met
Gozer the Traveller - he will come in one of the prechosen
During the rectification of the Valdranaii, the traveller
came as a large and
moving Torr! Then, during the third reconciliation of the
last of the
Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him - THAT
OF A GIANT
SLORR! Many shubs and zuuls knew what it was to be roasted
debths of the slorr that day, I can tell you!
"Long tall sally, she built sweet, she's got everything,
need! Oh baby, oh baby, gonna have me some fun! Gonna have
fun!" -Predator (Mac, played by bill
It's from Star Trek: Generations. When Dr.
Soron, played by Malcom
McDowell, says to Captain Picard:
"They say time is the fire in which we burn. Right now
Captain, my time
is running out. We leave so many things unfinished in our
lives. I know
"Hello, my name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father,
'The Princess Bride'
"I hope you can enjoy the victory with one friggen' eye!!"-The
...evil will always win, because good is dumb!
-Dark Helmet, "Spaceballs"
"Who's more foolish? The fool, or the one who follow's
-Ben Kenobi form "Star Wars"
"The many truths we cling to depend greatly on our point
-Ben Kenobi from "Return of the Jedi"
"I feel the need; the need for speed!"
-Maverick and Goose from "Top Gun"
"You should've seen the cover they wanted to do."
-Fran Drescher's character to Ian Faith from "This
"Women, you can't live with 'em, you can't kill 'em."
-Tom Arnold's character from "True Lies"
"I'll be back" - Terminator
"I'm talking morning, noon, and night. Dick, dick, dick,
"How many dicks is that?"
"Shit. You shoot me in a dream you better wake-up and
Victims.. Aren't we all?
"You... your dead! You blew my cover, your dead, you
hear me, your
dead! The Corps is mother the Corps is father. Your dead Lyta
Alexander! We'll find you the Corps will find you!"-
Talia to Lyta
(after Contorl takes her over), "Divided Loyalties"
"We don't go anywhere. Going somewhere is for squares.
We just go."
The Wild One (1954)
"Exterminate all rational thought. that is the conclusion
I have come
- Peter Weller
Naked lunch (1991)
Jamie Lee Curtis -"You think your an intellectual, don't
Kevin Kline -"Apes don't read philosophy."
Jamie Lee Curtis -"Yes they do Otto, they just don't
- Jamie Lee Curtis & Kevin Kline
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
I belong in a maximum security prison for men!!! AHHH!!
-A Pyromaniac's Love Story
What... you're crying...there's no crying in baseball...there's
crying in BASEBALL! - Tom Hanks, A league of their
Wyatt Earp says,
"I'm coming and Hell's coming with me." - Tombstone
Jules: You ever read the Bible, Brett?
Brett: (in spasm) Yes.
Jules: There's a passage I got memorized,
seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on
all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny
of evil men.
Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will,
shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness,
for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and
those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance
"I wasn't kidding. I do have a test today. It's on European
What's the big deal? I'm not European. I don't plan on becoming
European. So why should I care if they're socialists? They
facist, anarchist pigs. It still wouldn't change the fact
that I don't
have a car." --Ferris Bueller (Ferris
Bueller's Day Off)
I'd agree with you if you were right.
Rhett Butler (to Scarlet O'hara): You need to be kissed, and
someone who knows how.
Scarlet:You think you are the man to do it?
Rhett:No, because that is what you want!!!
-Gone With the Wind
don't want to talk to you no more, you emptyheaded animal,
food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your
mother was a hamster and your father stank of elderberries.
-Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail
Forget about it
No more drugs... for that man
God save the queen
Houston, we have a problem
I'm not late, I'm just not as obsessively punctual as you
There, have I made your f*cking day?
The boy is dangerous. They all can sense it. Why can't you?
-The Phantom Menace
Show me the money!!
Why must I be surrounded by Frickin' Idiots?!
- Austin Powers
Sure, I know how to use a sword, the pointy end goes in the
-The Mask of Zorro
Stop trying to hit me and hit me
I didn't take a bullet for you!! I tripped!
I can't even call my mother anymore!
It's all fun and games till someone gets shot in the leg
But you're still not having any fun!
And the monkey flips the switch
- Lost in Space
I'm indifferent to 'em
- 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
It's not my goddamn planet, understand monkey boy?
- Adventures of Baron Munchacen
Insanity runs in my family, it practically gallops
- Arsenic and Old Lace
We're fugitives from the law, aren't we? Idiocy is our only
While your at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut,
and pour lemon juice on it?
- The Princess Bride
This is a revolution, damn it! We're going to have to offend
In case your aim is better than your judgement
-The Last of the Mohicans
Forgive me, I lied
- Air Force One
I find your lack of Faith Disturbing
- Star Wars
Life is a pain, princess, and anyone who says differently
is selling something
- The Princess Bride
And that makes you, my new best friend
Vanity, definately my favorite sin!
- The Devil's Advocate
Divine Irony, A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song
made famous when the band died in a plane crash
What could possibly be funny?
Just in case they do.... suspect me
Doreau! wake up! Sleeping on the job is for air traffic controllers
It was the one-armed man!
- The Fugitive
Don't worry, i'm a New Yorker
- Crocodile Dundee
To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune, to lose
both looks like carelessness
- The Lair of the White Worm
Look at 'em, ordinary f*cking people, I hate 'em
- Repo Man
It happens sometimes, people just explode, natural causes
Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans... no more
merciful beheadings.... and cancel Christmas
-Robin Hood, Prince of Theives
the force be with you.